


Till death do us apart

by JotunVali



Category: Doctor Who: Scream of the Shalka
Genre: Alison is the unintended mom, Angst and Tragedy, Big Finish, Doctor Who novels, Edo Period, Heavy Angst, Japan, M/M, Mention of - Freeform, Suicide, and, audio stories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 09:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12056016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JotunVali/pseuds/JotunVali
Summary: Based on "Scream of the Shalka" webstories. Unlike Alison, the Master is actually not so pleased to have joined the Doctor. He must choose between a servant-maid's life always left behind and a certain death. Doctor/Master.No, 3 years after having began this thing I still haven't find a proper title.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite an old story, I posted it on ff.net on April 2014. And until now, it's still in-progress. :/
> 
> In this story, there are the Doctor, the Master and Alison, a companion who appeared in Scream of the Shalka. I'll go with two POVs: one with the Master and one with Alison.

It's been a little time now Alison had decided to join the Doctor and live in the Tardis for a while. What she had lived the first time she met him was quite a nightmare while awaken but she sort of liked it anyway. Maybe she was a little bonkers like these two actually. There was the Doctor, who enjoyed travelling across time and space, meeting strange and often dangerous creatures like these Shalkas who tried to take over the Earth by parasitizing people. It seemed it wasn't the first and much less the last time he lived that. He was the most reckless guy she's met. She liked him.

And there was the Master. She didn't know what to think about him. She only knew he was a very old friend of the Doctor this latter had turned into an android though they haven't told her why. He didn't seem to like Alison much. The rare times he talked to her either he was making fun of her or trying to hypnotize her, which didn't please the Doctor. He acted as a kind of assistant for the Doctor. That made her coming up with that question: Why then is he called the Master? She assumed it didn't matter. The Tardis has just landed. She went to the door.

* * *

The Master, well, ex-Master now, never liked that girls-regarding habit the Doctor had. Even when he was at last travelling with him, this idiot kept proposing to lovely young women he bumped into. These girls were mere pathetic humans meant to obey. This one was maybe a bit cleverer but she was still a human. And the most frustrating was he was spending more time with her as if  _he_  was just a stand-in companion. No, not even a companion, he was his servant-maid, always asked to clean up, wipe, cook, scour, tidy up, repair and of course do this dear Doctor's whore at night and sometimes at day.

Every day he was wondering why the Doctor had saved him back on Gallifrey. Surely because he needed a stooge at that time. And he dared say he did that because he loved him! It's just because there was no one left except him. The Master was 100% sure that if there had had someone else less psychotic and less world conquest-wishing than him, the Doctor would have chosen him or her. Why was he remaining here yet? Oh yes! Because he couldn't leave the Tardis! This sadist of a Doctor had linked the battery that kept him alive with the Tardis' core. He really made all that was possible to ruin his life, well at least what looked like a life.

Since his childhood, the Master always wanted to conquer and rule and now he was on the opposite side. The Doctor had decided to destroy everything he was in a slower and more unbearable way than just killing him…

So how could he still love him? How could he still want to save him when he's in trouble and while all he deserves are death and pain? How could he simply still love while his first one horribly broke his hearts* and this one always slips through his fingers and run away from him when he gets the chance?

Maybe he was a masochist and the Doctor had taken advantage of it, or maybe he was just a coward and followed the Doctor not to die. He always hoped he could finally find answers but he never managed to. Here, the Tardis has landed. The Doctor and Alison are still going out smiling and leaving him all alone. Just another day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, two POVs here.

She went out with the Doctor. Again, she asked why the Master couldn't come with them. Again the Doctor replied he just technically could not, that if he did he would simply die.

"It is a bit risky, isn't it? He uses to tell me the Tardis is the worst prison he ever got in and he looked forward escaping from." She said.

"No need to worry Alison, the Master always feared death."

"Well, like everyone else I guess?"

"Except he wants and  _can_  do anything to avoid it. I think you caught a glimpse of his memory recently."

She recalled all that blood-drenched hands that weren't hers back in that dark cave. At first sight, she really couldn't have expected the Master to be a bloodthirsty mass murderer. How could he be a friend of the Doctor? And above all, if he was so dangerous and untrustworthy, why the Doctor saved and kept him then? Nevertheless, she kept thinking it was unfair  _they_  could go out exploring and discovering while  _he_  couldn't. The truth, she thought, was the Doctor was way weirder than the Master. Unlike with this latter, she never managed to guess what the Doctor was thinking about, as if his brain was constantly spinning around.

After quite a long walk, they ended up before a stunning mountain range standing in front of the cliff where they were. _What a wonderful sight_ , Alison thought.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"In Japan as it seems. Probably the eighteenth century. The samurais' era. And  _Sakoku_ 's era." The Doctor answered a bit embarrassed.

"What is it?"

"Japan is a closed country during this time. No foreigner is allowed and people who try to leave are likely to be sentenced to death ."

"You kidding me right?"

"Well go ask them." He said pointing at a group of angry and armed to the teeth warriors who were running towards them.

" _Asoko kuzu no gaijin aru zo!_ (There are scums of foreigners over there)"One of them said.

"So basically…"The Doctor started.

"What?" Alison more and more worried asked.

"RUN!" He shouted taking his companion's arm.

* * *

Here he was again. On his own with the old girl. Neither did she like him, which was quite normal. So he tried, as he did every time the Doctor was off ( _or on, it didn't actually_ _matter for the Doctor only talked to him to ask for something_ ), to keep being busy by reading, swimming in the pool, pretending to fix the Tardis or simply by sleeping ( _or more precisely by switching himself off_ ). He was so bored and annoyed here. He had to admit it: his life now was pure rubbish. Every time, every second he felt so frustrated, so angry. With everyone; the Doctor, his insignificant companions, the Tardis, the Time Lords, or even himself. He had been indeed such an idiot, such an unthinking fool to accept being this dear Doctor's fill-in while he was realizing now he had better die.

It was by the way because of the death of the latest "wonderful" companion he was here. He could still recall this not-so-marvelous-actually scene. Gallifrey burning into ashes, the Daleks killing anything that moved, some Time Lords plotting with them and other trying in vain to escape… including himself. Except  _he_  was trying to flee from the Time Lords for they wanted him to be their best warrior to save them. He learnt then why he had this unbearable drumming noise inside of his head all along his life. That bloody noise that had made him half mad. Fortunately he had this steel will of his and his never-ending world conquest dream that helped him not to become it completely.

He recalled he was covered with blood and open wounds running breathlessly until he bumped into a stone and collapsed. There, he was going to die pitifully either killed by those who used him or by the Daleks. If he could, he'd choose them, they are far less cruel. Besides, as if it wasn't terrible enough, here he was thinking of the Doctor. Whereas he always refused his help now he wanted it so badly. He was pathetic. He felt like this frightened child he once was, surrounded with bullies who meant him harm and wishing his Thete would come to save him. What a fool, how the Doctor could possibly save him now? Apart from the fact he killed his one-day companion before his eyes last time they've seen each other, that he tormented some others and, of course, tried to take over the universe so many times, his dear Doctor was not here anyway. In spite of it, he decided to think of him as the last thing he would do. He heard the too recognizable "Exterminate! Exterminate!" getting near.

"Farewell, Doctor."


	3. Chapter 3

When he woke up, he wasn't in Hell as expected ( _though he didn't believe in such a primitive and human thing_ ) but on an operation table. He checked his body, all wounds had disappeared. Stranger, he heard a metallic sound as he started to move.

"What kind of a stupid joke is that?" He thought.

Oh great. He just tilted. Someone had turned him into a cyborg. He who's always seen robots and other kinds of machine as mere mechanical slaves was now one of them. "The Master" wasn't an appropriate name anymore.

He got up and began to wander. This place wasn't so unknown. As he kept walking, he remembered more and more. This was…the Doctor's Tardis! His Doctor's Tardis! He just couldn't believe it. His prayers had actually been heard. The Doctor's really come to save him. It was so silly, so much silly the Master didn't know whether he should cry for being still alive or laugh to mock that stupid god, spirit or whatever that had listened to him and that stupid Doctor who'd saved him while they both know he is the last one the world would save. He ended up crying, but not too loudly, no way should his lifelong foe hear him weep like a weakling. Yet, as he was eager to ask the Doctor why he'd rescued him he went to the control room where this dear one would surely be.

Indeed he was there. The Master was about to talk when he noticed the Doctor didn't look in a so good shape. He looked a bit like him before his rescue: covered in blood and really worn out. Nevertheless, this dear one was still doing as if everything was alright. He was walking around the console, pulling and pushing, switching buttons and levers on and off. He hadn't changed of appearance except for his cut brown hair. Despite that, this 8th body was quite good-looking, the Master thought. Suddenly, the Doctor collapsed.

"Doctor!"

He rushed to him. Unexpectedly, he was still aware.

"Doctor!"

"Hey…you're awake. Seems it won't be the same for me within a few seconds."

"Why saving me, Doctor? Why?" The Master asked, scared and hopeful at the same time.

"Well, you know me. I always have to save instead of let die." The Doctor answered before letting an ironical laugh out.

"Don't make a fool of me, Doctor! Tell me the truth!"

"Right…" The Doctor started passing out.

"No, no, Doctor, stay with me!" He gasped at this sentence. Did he just really say that? Did he just actually say out loud what he had always kept locked inside?

"Yes, yes…no need to shout at me. I'm dying but not deaf." The Doctor said trying to sound annoyed despite getting weaker and weaker.

Again this stupid idiot did not understand. Even though his life-long nemesis was there holding him hoping wholeheartedly he won't die on him, this fool didn't understand. Why did he care for this foolish good-doer anyway? The Doctor was the one who's always made his plans fail, who's always ruined his life, who's always rejected him… Yet he still loved him. He loved him so much. Despite all that he still loved him as strongly as back in Prydonian Academy. He wondered how it could be to still love this much someone who's already given up on you centuries ago.

"What's with that look old friend? You look like a lost puppy."

His eyes began to blur.

"I said do not make a fool of me."

"I wouldn't dare."

"Answer me!"

"Oh please, stop with the shouting." The Doctor whispered.

The Master didn't reply and kept staring at him and waiting. The Doctor sighed.

"Do you really need an answer?"

"What does that mean?" The actually frustrated Master said.

"It means don't you already know the answer?" The Doctor replied looking into his eyes.

Both his hearts beat up. Could it be? No, how could it? He's the one who broke up with him and who've always rejected him since that day. But then why would he have rescued him? In fact, he didn't see any reason apart from that one. Meanwhile, the regeneration already started.

"No, Doctor! I want you to say it! I need you to say it!"

"If you know it, what's the purpose?" The Doctor said closing his eyes.

"Doctor!"

Too late. The regeneration had started. The Master got more and more scared. What if the Doctor didn't remember him? Or if he did but in the wrong way and threw him out with that completely unknown body? Or if he didn't regenerate at all and left him with an unknown body and that dear Tardis who wasn't quite fond of him? And even if he did regenerate and remember him, would he remember what the Master asked him? Bloody hell, he was the Master! He cannot be scared! He must not be scared! Especially not because of the Doctor! So why was he feeling like the Devil himself was coming to take him away? Why was he crying and shivering?

"Don't leave me Doctor…" He barely said.


	4. Chapter 4

So the Doctor had regenerated. The Master didn't like this new appearance much. It was…acceptable. The less acceptable was what the Doctor admitted about rescuing him. The Master who'd just begun to hope and love again learnt that he was rescued only to stand in for a companion the  _poor_  Doctor had lost until finding a future proper companion. The lesser acceptable was to also learn he can't leave the Tardis and he was programmed to be the perfect maid-servant.

He has never  ** _ever_**  felt so betrayed. Not even at the Axons' time. By the way the Doctor has always been the one who stabs both his hearts. While he wanted to give him half of the universe and be with him, the Doctor made him believe he agreed and changed sides to leave him at the aliens' hands. Yet he, the great Master, fell into the trap every. single. time. And kept loving this damned Doctor. Until the love turned into hate. It couldn't be helped. The Master was just tired of loving someone who wanted him dead. So he tried to kill him. Many times. All failed. And here comes that obnoxious rascal bringing his hope back to life to then put it down.

Still now, he had to choose between a maid-servant life and a certain death. Death iwas the only thing he hates more than the Doctor. So he had already made up his mind.

* * *

 

As if by magic, they had managed to escape the soldiers. Both were out of breath.

"So  _these_  are samurais? I thought they…kind of stood together…that they're supposed to help each other."

"Well as you saw it…they're not really…like in history books…in reality…samurais did all they were able of…in order to get promoted or…get the glory. Even beating or slaying…their own comrades."

"That was indeed hazardous… and strangely…I enjoyed it." She smiled.

"At your service." He smiled back.

"So…how about going back to the Tardis before they reach us?"

"Agreed."

* * *

 

In the end, he had more reasons to do this. He hated Alison, as any of the companions his Doctor ever had, he hated this humiliating life and the Doctor hated him. So, the Master left the console, walked slowly towards the door, opened it and went out.

* * *

 

The sky was getting dark. Enormous clouds were gathering while a loud thunder broke out. Lightening tore apart the dark sky.

"We should hurry up Doctor." She warned the one who was admiring the Mother Nature's show.

"A minute Alison."

"You may change your face but I don't think you're lightening-proof! So let's go back before you get an accident!" She said before taking the Doctor away.


	5. Chapter 5

Up the instant the Master felt life sucked out of him. He fell on his knees. Then face down. Life was at last running away from him. He never dared admit it, he'd always managed to live again and again, but eventually all he had ever wished for, all he had ever could do was death. Only he had always made others' beforehand. The only death he'd failed was his. Now that mistake was fixed. A thousand years mistake. Tears started to run. Now he thought of it, while he could still do it, he should have died since the beginning. So much horror and pointlessness could have been prevented. No drums, no Death's servant, no broken hearts, no killer filled with jealousy and resent. Well he no longer could change all that now, could he? He just could wait for his dear mistress Death. Surely she'll laugh at him.

* * *

"Doctor! We still can watch over lightning when we are safe in the Tardis!"

"But Alison! That's not the same!"

"Oh come on! We're almost there! See? "

The Doctor saw it indeed. The Tardis' doors wide open. Impossible. Unless… He rushed in fright.

"No, that can't be!"

"What?" Alison asked him. He didn't hear her. "What can't be?" She followed him and she saw it: the Master lying dead.

Why? She wondered. What happened? Did an alien or another  _honorable_  samurai drop in? So why the doors were wide open and as clean as her mother's house? Then she remembered what the Doctor told. The Master can't go out of the Tardis, he will die otherwise. So…did he do it himself? Did he commit suicide? He'd repeated to her he couldn't bear to live here anymore and someday he would find a way to leave. She'd never have imagined that kind of way.

* * *

 He held his friend and shouted.

"Master! Master! What have you done?" No response. "Wake up please!"

One eye slowly opened up.

"Yes…no need to shout.  _I'm dying but not deaf_." A firm yet so far away voice answered.

The Doctor's hearts skipped a beat.

"What did cross your mind? Why did you go out?" He demanded while his vision began to blur.

" _Don't you already know the answer_?" The Master smirked.

"Will you stop parroting!" Actually the Doctor already knew the answer but was hoping for another one. "Tell me it was an accident…"

"Why you want me to lie, dear Doctor? Like you?"

"What does that mean?"

"Please, don't be an idiot in addition to a liar. The great and powerful Doctor… always acting like a loveable person without even knowing what love is."

"That's not true!" Alison intervened.

"Oh look, your new fiancée wants to prove she's worth." The Master mocked.

Alison didn't know what to reply. The Master gazed at her.

"No…she's right. You know love…that filthy love you feel for your BLOODY COMPANIONS!"

He glared right into the Doctor's eyes. That latter could see blood tears coming out of the Master's. He had come later that he had thought. His friend's body was already breaking down. It was a miracle he could still yell like that.

"You…you're jealous?" the Doctor asked wide-eyes.

"Dear…so clever… and yet…not able to guess… the obvious… before…. a thousand… years …" The Master's voice was fading away more and more.

"No! No! Stay with me, don't leave me!"

"Please…you have… a companion now…proper one…"

"What do you mean, proper?" Alison asked.

"Any…one…but me…"

She gasped at that reply.


	6. Chapter 6

The Master's words had reached her heart. She kept her hand on her mouth while she tried to hold back her tears. In vain. She felt so ashamed. She didn't do anything wrong though, at least she hoped so, but she understood now why the Master despised her so much.

Pure and simple jealousy. It's not like he was more worth love than her, it was even the opposite, but hearing about such a long story of a desperately strong yet unrequited love shattered her. Now she thought about it, it was so obvious. The Master never wanted to go near her unless necessary and was always sticking to the Doctor (at least tried to) who barely replied to him.

More even than before, she did not understand how the Doctor thought. He said to her the Master was his friend despite everything, so why did he behave in such cruel way? In the end, she didn't know him at all. She wasn't sure of anything now. Except that the Master had been horribly suffering for a tremendously long time and his so-called " _friend_ " did nothing to relieve it.

* * *

 At last, he had his long-awaited revenge. He finally could die without any regret and of his own free will. Take that in your teary face, Thete. It is the least you deserve. You've always played with my frozen hearts, now I will smash yours into pieces. This will teach you not to tell…

* * *

 " **I love you."** He faintly uttered before burying his face in the android's cracked chest wires were already spurting sparkles from. "I love you my friend, so please don't die. Please…"

The Master's body began to short-circuit.

"I-I'm… your frie-friend…only w-when it… su-suits you…"

"That's not true ! I love you Koschei, I've always loved you!"

"Y-You have…s-strange ways…t-to love…"

"Don't die, please!" the Doctor begged in his mind any deity, anyone or thing that could help.

"G-Go to…hell…Thete…" groaned the Master as final words.

The Doctor watched helplessly as the head of his friend shifted to the left before tearing off from the rest of his body.

* * *

 "No !" she cried out as she saw the dreadful scene happening before her. She's never felt so helpless since the Shalkas. Did she bring bad luck to anyone around her? Or did the Doctor ? Did he wish so strong no one died around him the opposite actually happened ? He told her a lot of his friends and family had already died because of him. The latest one was his former companion. Well she wasn't now.

* * *

 No. This couldn't be. This just could  _not_  be. He just could  **NOT** believe it.

The Master had just committed suicide.

No.

Because of him.

No.

He won't regenerate. Because of him.

No.

**No.**

**No !**

He cried his hearts and anger out. While he was still holding the headless body of his friend.

 _Friend_  ? How  ** _dared_  **he call himself like that ? He had just driven the love of his too long life to suicide. The Master had always forced people to do horrible things but he's never  ** _ever_  **played with someone's heart(s) so much they pulled the trigger on themselves. Never. The exact opposite of what  ** _he_  **had just done.

His eyes began to swell and burn and his throat to soar but he didn't give a damn about it. He just wanted him back. Whatever it'd take. They would argue again, insult, threaten, fight each other again, fine, so be it, he just wanted him back.

He didn't care if when returned the Master would hypnotize people or try to kill or take over the world again.

**He. Just. Wanted. Him. Back.**


	7. Chapter 7

First the Master, now the Doctor alarmed her. She only knew him for a few days  _–or weeks, or months ? You can never know inside of a Tardis_  – yet she'd never have imagined he could look so miserable. He nearly frightened her. His eyes were crimson red, his face all wet and his hair tousled.

He looked like he had just survived the Apocalypse –and according to him, he had already lived many. He was running around and about out of dread. He kept coming at the Tardis console and back at the headless android. Nevertheless, she tried to catch his attention.

"Doctor ! What are you doing exactly ?" She said with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Isn't it obvious ? I'm trying to make up for my mistakes !" He shouted at her.  _And by Rassilon, this is the biggest I've ever made._ He thought.

He felt so helpless, so useless. He looked for any solution or data the Tardis could give him to bring back the Master but there was nothing to be found. Surely there was something. There  _ **HAD**_  to be something! She was the Tardis darn it ! She must hold some information to help him!

"Come on, old girl ! Don't do this to me !" He grumbled. He began to lose his temper and punched bluntly everything in front of him. 

_Damn you ! Damn useless scrap heap ! Damn Time Lords ! Damn Daleks ! Damn Master !_ _Damn me !_

He let himself fall onto his knees while still grabbing the console's rim. Tears began to run over his cheeks again. His arms ached but he didn't bloody care. How could he ? How could he do this ? He ignored his best friend's feelings and his own all this time and for what ? He was so mad at himself. He regretted so much having let him down so many times he lost count. For Rassilon's sake, why didn't he accept the first time the Master offered him to travel together ? Why didn't he ? Of course he knew he was lying when he said they could rule the universe benevolently. Of course he'd grown attached to his friends from UNIT and to humans. But was it a good enough reason ? Now he recalled it, even if the Master wanted to destroy him, as he loved to claim it, he was always here to help –willingly or not. He has never abandoned him. Unlike what  _he_  has done. He started to bang his head repeatedly into the console's rim. He wasn't even hearing Alison begging.

Here. He had lost his marbles. Here he was weeping and hurting himself like as a repentance. She was scared. She was now with a corpse and a self-mutilating madman. She had nothing to do here. She didn't  _belong_ here. She cried:

"Doctor ! Doctor stop it ! Bloody stop it !" He didn't look as if he'd heard her. She flew off the handle. "Will you stop this  _fucking_  stupid self-flagellation ? Smashing your skull open won't change anything !"

The Doctor stopped. He slowly tried to stand up. As she feared it, his forehead was all bruised and stained with blood.  _Oh god, what has he done ?_

She wanted to rush at him but that frightening view froze her. Truth be told, she feared he might hit her for desperate people can become quite violent. Oddly enough, she didn't think the Doctor was an exception. Yet she tried:

"Doctor please, try to calm down."

He suddenly glared at her. There was rage in his eyes.

"Calm down ? _CALM DOWN ?_  Alison, don't you realise what I've done ? How can you expect me to calm down ?!" He yelled.

"You didn't do anything, you stupid space man! He went out the Tardis on his own! It's not like you forced him!"

 _Shit_. Why was everyone so nice to him ? He was a terrible person.

"IT IS !" He screamed. "It is." He paused a moment. "He's… _was_  right. People like you say I'm a savior, that I should be praised… What a  _BULLSHIT_  !" He shouted punching the console again. He took a deep breath and ruffled his greyish hair back. Then an idea popped up."I know."

Of course. It was so obvious. He knelt down and open a door underneath the console. He just had to use the Tardis energy to fix the Master. All he had to do what to take the needed amount. He could bring him back after all. He stood up and began tapping away frantically on many buttons. Then he looked up a screen waiting for an answer. It read "Operation impossible". The Doctor tried again. And again. And again. The Tardis kept telling ""Operation impossible".


	8. Chapter 8

_NO. NO. Don't you dare do this to me ! You_ _**GOT** _ _to help me !_

The screen kept displaying "Operation impossible". But it  _WAS_  possible. He had made no mistake in the procedure. Was the Tardis malfunctioning ? Or was she… No ! she could not ! Was she simply  _disagreeing_  with him ? Was she refusing to help ?

"You can't do this ! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME !" He roared as he perfectly knew he wouldn't get an answer though. "HELP ME !" He told her off.

Still no answer. He tried to cool down.

"I know you don't like him. I know he hasn't always been nice to you, but please I'm begging you, help me!" He knelt, bowed his head and clasped his hands. Tears began to flow out again. "Please, my first and faithful companion, I know I'm not easy to live with, I know I've never spared you anything, I know I'm far from being the most caretaking owner and Rassilon, I know I keep asking much from you, now more than ever before, but please,  _ **please**_ , I'm begging you, I'm  _ **imploring**_  you to help me."

As far as she could remember, the Doctor she had met was rather conceited and arrogant, always up to say he's the cleverest one in the room. Now he was down on his knees and praying to a machine that surely couldn't hear him and let alone grant his wish. What could she do ? Should she leave this place and go back to London ? Not really possible with a Doctor whose hearts were all upside down. Ask if she could help ? What for, he wouldn't even listen to her.  _He_  wouldn't, but the Tardis ? Maybe  _she_  would listen to her.

"Hey! Er…Tardis!" She hailed, feeling a bit silly to call out a machine which wasn't going to hear or answer her. Even so, she carried on. "Remember me ? Er… I live here for a while now and... I just realised I live inside of you actually, that's weird… To be short, I too am asking you to bring back the Master. If you don't mind."  _Stupid me, of course she minds !_

The Doctor suddenly recalled Alison was here.

"Alison…" He couldn't believe it. This girl was more amazing than he thought. She wasn't mad at him when he risked her life, twice, she stood up for the Master when he turned him off, even if the Master indirectly tried to kill and hated her, and now she was asking to revive him. Was she unable to resent or fear ?

"Alison, thank you but… I don't think she will accept." He said before he let out a sad chuckle. "She and the Master have never been good friends you see."

"What about you ?" She asked.

"What ?"

"Aren't you a good friend of hers ?"

"Ah…well, yes. I guess. I suppose."

"Aren't you her best friend ?"

"I…maybe. I'm not sure."

She came closer to him.

"Then, maybe if you explain to your best friend how much the Master matters to you, she'll change her mind."

She's made a point. A clever point. But there was a problem nevertheless. He wanted his beloved Master back of course, but was he ready to say it out loud? Oh, he felt so stupid! He had concealed his feelings so deep down and for so long he almost felt shameful to set them free.

"Yeah. Yes. You're right." He agreed.

"Well, what are you waiting for ?"

"I'm… I'm not… I've never felt…comfortable with…sentiments."

What did he mean by that ? Has he never confess his love for someone before ? Has he never told his relatives he's been in love ? Or has he on the contrary kept concealing and denying his affection for  _2000_  years? Was he  _ **THAT**_  stubborn ?

"Doctor, do you mean you've never confessed to  _anyone_  ?"

Yes he has. Of course he has. Long, very long ago. Back on Gallifrey. When it was still a peaceful and living place.

" _Th…Theta…I…I love you ! Very much !" Koschei expelled with a crimson face._

His hearts had skipped a strong beat then. He even had shed a few tears before he'd replied:

" _I…I love you too !"_ And had glomped him.

Since then, they had stuck –literally- together all the time until Koschei had committed an irreparable deed: he had gone so mad he had decided to murder the Lord President and take his seat.

" _You bloody psychopath ! Why would you do that ?"_

" _So we can overthrow these corrupted leaders and rule Gallifrey the right way !"_

" _We? Who are we?"_

" _Us Theta. I want you, I_ _ **need**_ _you by my side."_

" _You're kidding right ? I'll NEVER rule anyone ! I'll NEVER rule by your side !"_

" _What ? What are you saying ? I'm offering you Gallifrey my dear."_

" _The fuck with your 'dears"'! And I never_ _ **EVER**_ _want to see you again !"_

Then he had fled away.

" _Theta ! Wait !"_

" _EAT MY ROBE !"_ He had yelled with tears swelling on his eyelids' rim.

That was when he had stolen his Tardis with Susan he had just met.


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor was definitely stubborn. He was clearly, deeply, desperately in love. The only one thing he was wishing for right now was the Master. The only way to bring him back was to confess to the Tardis frankly, word by word. Yet, he was doing nothing !

"Doctor, confess to your best friend. Now. It's a friend who tells you. Actually, it's an order." She said. She folded her arms and waited.

 _Well, guess I have no choice._  He tried his best to stand up without staggering and began to deliver his clumsy speech.

"Eh, sorry for the shouting, old girl." He ruffled his already tangled hair again. "I'm not really in a good mood you see. I've recently been quite…upset. If that word could ever match the present situation…and…not if that kind of situation never happened before." He beat around the bush.

Alison sighed loudly.

"Get to the point, Doctor." She didn't want to wait more. She wanted to be with sane people again. As sane as two renegade Time lords could be.

"Ah, yes. Sorry. Seems like the sound of my own voice pleases me more than I would admit."  _Especially now the Master's is not here anymore to balance it._

Yes, balance. It was the right word. He and the Master balanced each other in a certain manner of speaking though they were as conceited, overconfident and vain as each other. They actually weren't that different: both renegades, both full of themselves, both convinced to be the cleverest, both holding a grudge against the Time Lords and enjoying time-travel _(even if not for the same reasons_ ), both having a taste for brightening the place they come into, both irritated when their plans didn't go as planned, both over the moon when it came to tease each other ("tease" mostly meaning fight, threaten, kill, hurt, betray…but sometimes  _just_  tease), and both craving for each other without ever claiming it out loud. Was it for that reason the Doctor hated to be alone ? Because otherwise, he would continuously think about the Master ? Like now ? He ventured a glance on his left… A headless robotic body… The Doctor broke down again.

"Doctor !" Alison rushed to prevent him from crashing on the floor.

_Gosh ! He's more damaged than I'd have thought. Well, all the more reason to let it all out once and for all._

"Come on, Doctor ! Stop the blabber, stop the stonewalling, just say it !"

He looked up, gave out a loud sigh and swept away the fresh tears with both his hands.

"Right! Right… Let's get over with it." His voice was trembling. He sounded like it was taking all his might to remain the calmest possible and like it was the harshest ordeal he ever had to deal with.

_Surely she will make the rest of my life a living hell for doing this… and surely so will_ _**HE** _ _. Well, so be it then. It's much more preferable than letting things as they are now._

_Than living without him._

"For the love of God, say it!" Alison was losing her patience.

"Fine! I'll say it! Just let me mentally rehearse, will you ? Is it too much of asking for?" So was the Doctor.

 _What's this lame excuse again ? For God's sake, I feel like I'll soon turn as mad as him._  She gathered all of her strength not to punch this idiot in the face.

He finally carried on –even if he still hadn't begun anything.

"My dear lifelong friend, will you please listen to what I have to tell you ? It is of a tremendous importance." He started. "I know…I know you're not really fond of him, at least not as much as  _ **I**_ am…for, yes I admit it, I don't quite loathe him as much as I like to harp it… you could almost say –if you could ever talk- I…do not hate him. I even…quite enjoy his company."

No significant answer from the Time entity. The Doctor finally lost it.

"Oh, who am I kidding now ! I  _bloody_  love him ! I know, my dearest friend, I should not and I swear on all the time and space I wish I would not ! But…the fact is…I've never…ever stopped…to love and value this insufferable scoundrel ! At last I thought that for once… I had manage to rescue instead of abandoning him…but…what a disastrous failure!" He yelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, feel free to comment!


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